...They always have and they always will. In the 8th century, the Norse hero Sigurd was summoned to slay the dragon Fafnir. 1200 years later, little Sigurds all over the world kill dragons from their living rooms, with the power of their mighty dice. Lest you think fantasy battles these days are limited to board games played by dorky tweens, get into a discussion of faith sometime. Imaginary fights motivate myriad differences in religious belief: Jesus vs. Yahweh vs. Allah vs. Man. God vs. The Devil vs. little old you. And what’ll happen when Christ comes down to separate the sinners from the saints? Judgment day (No, I’m not talking Terminator 2: Judgment Day, although that’s good too) is an imaginary fight of the utmost consequence, with awfully predictable winners. Now check out politics: the Cold War, which dominated the second half of the 20th century, hinged on an imaginary fight: who would win WWIII? Could anyone? Often, the imaginary fights go far better than actual ones; the conflict in Iraq was supposed to be done in a couple of months and cost three billion dollars, with American soldiers embraced by freedom-loving arms. Years later, we can only imagine if Dungeon Master Cheney had been playing with dice instead of American lives. In the realm of pop culture, Star Wars, the most popular movie franchise of all time, gave us imaginary fights on two levels. While Jedi battled Sith with light sabers on Death Stars, (Made up. Not real.) each fictional individual fought his own internal imaginary battle between the Force and the Dark Side.
The Imaginary Fight taps into the most primal part of the male psyche and imagination: the need to know who’s the best, the strongest, the caveman with the biggest club. This need starts in infancy and never goes away; it lurks in the hearts of the most peaceful, benevolent men. Buddha occasionally strayed from the Noble Eightfold Path by wondering if he could take the Hindu Gods Vishnu and Shiva. There is no factual evidence for that, but it must be true. He couldn’t possibly avoid it. He was still going to do his meditation thing, but whatever. This, the sad truth be told, is what guys care about. “Who would win between…” is one of man’s three most fundamental questions, ahead of “Why are we here?” and behind “Who’s hotter?” When Vern asked Teddy “You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?” in Stand by Me, we laughed, but not before we wondered.
